Education is about virtue...

Dear children, it is such a strange thing being human, isn't it?  We live in such a small part of the big picture.  It was a HUNDRED years from when Columbus "discovered" America and when there was any real effort to settle the New World. More than a lifetime.  Our  lives are so short in the scheme of history that we can hardly see how our piece fits in.

But you are part of this big picture of history as we all create the society which is shaping the history of today. And if you  hope to be a good part  of this big picture we live in then you need to see the big picture of getting an education.  Education is about virtue... learning what is good, what is beautiful, and what is true.  Since the time of Socrates this was known, "Whom do I call educated? First, those who manage well the circumstances they encounter day by day. Next, those who are decent and honorable in their intercourse with all men, bearing easily and good naturedly what is offensive in others and being as agreeable and reasonable to their associates as is humanly possible to be... those who hold their pleasures always under control and are not ultimately overcome by their misfortunes... those who are not spoiled by their successes, who do not desert their true selves but hold their ground steadfastly as wise and sober -- minded men." 

Education is not about figuring out what your teacher will put on a test and memorizing it, it not about standing in line and being able to follow directions, it is not even about being a productive member of society.  What good is an educated society if it is not one that seeks virtue? Yes, we need people who are able to work at the jobs that make society go but what we need more are kind neighbors, loving husbands and patient mothers.  We need virtuous people who are able to conquer their selfishness.  Education should produce thinkers, not a mass population of followers.  Education should shine light on the good, beautiful and true.  We need good citizens who love good things, not individuals who want a paycheck.

Learning facts and skills is only part of eduction.  It is good to explore the world and to understand how things work.  But we should be educating the whole child and that includes educating them on how they can be good, more human people.  Children are more than bodies to be busied, more than minds to be exercised, they are souls longing to love, to create and to overcome.

Valentine's Day thoughts on "old love"

I won't lie. Before I was married I thought that love was a downward slope.  You had to fall REALLY, REALLY in love with someone when you were young so that you could still, maybe, stand to be around them when you were older.   I am glad to say I was wrong.  Somehow, I love my husband more and more the longer we are together.  I first dated my husband when I was 17, we got married when I was 23 and have been married for 12 years this spring.  So if there are any young lovebirds out there reading this, I just want to let you know that love gets better with time.

So here are my top 7 great things about staying together...

1. Years of built up jokes
 I am really not a funny person, at all, but when I am around my husband you would almost think I'm funny.  We have so many jokes from over the years that there is usually one waiting to be brought up.  Laughter is survival when you have a high-stress life.  If we couldn't laugh at the chaos of our kids, Keith's high stress job, being broke all the time....if we couldn't laugh I don't think I would make it.  Over the years our senses of humor have melded and we usually know just how to crack the other one up.

 2.Your spouse becomes home
We move a lot with the military but if Keith is there any place feels like home.  Home is where we share our days together. Home is where ever we are together.

3. You run out of things to fight about and accept your spouse's "faults"
It feels good when the things that might have bothered you when you were dating now just "are".  Some things we may have worked out but a lot of things we just stopping fighting about.  Keith is going to watch football every Sunday and take up all the hot water. I am going to rearrange the furniture every couple months and buy too many books... and we are not going to fight about it because there is no point, and that is okay.

4. You can look back and see what you have accomplished together.
There is satisfaction that comes from looking back and seeing where you came from.  We started with nothing and have made a home.  Keith has worked hard and made a career out of the Navy and I have tried my hardest to support him.  We have children who are growing up into kids we really enjoy being around.  It is good to have a partner that you have worked together with to make your little part of the world.

5. The pressure of living happily ever after is gone.
For perfectionists like me the beginning of things start off with a lot of pressure for everything to be "your" way, you know, the right way!  But after years of being together a marriage becomes it's own thing and you loose that pressure to control everything.

6. The intimacy of knowing every detail and fault of someone
It is great to know all the good things about your spouse.  And in dating you can go a long time hiding your faults from someone.  Young life is also generally less stressful so your weaknesses are less likely to come through. But as the years go by everything is going to come out. But there is an intimacy of seeing someone at their worst, and knowing that they have seen you at your worst, and they still find you lovable and valuable.

7. They have made you a better person.
It is a blessing to have the security of love.  It creates  fertile soil in which we can grow.  And true love always desires the best for the other person.  Yes, Keith loves me at my worst, but I also know that he is cheering me on and encouraging me to be my best.  He will always assume the best of me and want me to try my hardest.  He makes me want to be a better person.

So on this Valentine's day I just want to say that although "old" love doesn't make a great movie or novel, it is still pretty great.  I wouldn't trade the excitement of "new" love for the peace of "old" love for a million bucks.  Happy Valentines to my husband Keith, I love you babe! (Ain't he cute!)

"It is love alone that gives worth to all things" -St. Teresa of Avila

Good vs. Evil...a guest post from the hubs!

Here is my FIRST guest blogger...my husband!  Here are his current thoughts for the kiddos...

Children, there is an age old war, Good vs. Evil.  And there is an old saying that the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was to make people believe he doesn't exist.  When I was younger, I thought this was the stupidest saying ever. I mean, his name is right there in the quote!  The very saying that deletes his existence simultaneously proclaims it.  Do we deny there is a Devil because we don't want to face our sin or do we convince ourselves there is no Devil at all? 

It is ignorance. You see, when we are young, we are innocent.  Innocence is not the same as goodness.  Goodness is worked for, it is chosen.  While young we do not know true evil, because we have not been confronted with it yet.  But the Devil will not tarry long.  We all are forced to face true evil eventually, and that is when we have a choice.  There are three ways we can go.
1.We can  accept evil as good, thus becoming evil
2. we can stand up to evil and fight it, which is practicing goodness. Or,
3. we can run and hide from it, attempting to be ignorant.  This is the worst evil of all. 
It is the evil from outside of us magnified by the evil inside of us that chooses to be ignorant.  We choose to be ignorant of evil.  We decide that it doesn't exist.  We choose to fool ourselves because we are afraid to fight.

This is no new thing. We have been committing the sin of omission since the beginning of Man.  Plenty of people have told me that Eve sinned first by eating the apple. This is not true.  Adam was right there with her.  He was right there while the Devil was tempting her.  He heard everything.  And what did he do? Nothing.  What did he say? Nothing.  He listened to the words of the Devil, and he was afraid to confront him. He did nothing. Then when Eve decides to eat the apple, causing the fall of mankind, what does Adam do then? He goes right along with her and eats the apple too.

 Once again he shows his fear of making a decision himself, and his fear to stand up and confront evil.   It is a sin of sloth, of lethargy.  We close our eyes to evil,  foolishly thinking that if we don't see it, then it is not there.  Just make everything morally relative then nothing is wrong. What we need to do, and what you children need to do, is prepare yourselves for the tempting of the Devil. When he comes, be ready to refuse him. You see, good and evil are not states of being, they are states of action.  What you do defines, in part, who you are and where you stand in the fight.  So ask yourself, "Am I doing good, or am I simply watching from the sidelines?"

 This issue is addressed in the recent movie American Sniper.  Chris Kyle's father tells his sons that there are three types of people in the world. Sheep, wolves, and sheep dogs. (This is actually derived from a psychology lesson taught by an Army Colonel to Chief Kyle.)

     “Some people prefer to believe that evil doesn’t exist in the world, and if it ever darkened their doorstep, they wouldn’t know how to protect themselves. Those are the sheep. Then you’ve got predators, who use violence to prey on the weak. They’re the wolves. And then there are those blessed with the gift of aggression, and an overpowering need to protect the flock. These people are the rare breed who live to confront the wolf. They are the sheepdog.”

So, my children, choose to be good. Choose to be the sheepdog.  And choose to love God everyday.  Your soul will be filled with the choices you make throughout your life.  You can choose to fill them with good or evil.  The Lord wants you to be people of action, not just of thought.

you are what you eat...

Dear children, you are what you eat...and read, and listen to, and surround yourself with.   Your mind will use the information you put into it to reason with.  You will use the ideas  you have encountered to figure out life.  It is so important that you read about good, strong and brave heroes.  Good books are food for your brain.  Beautiful music and art will feed your soul.  Encouraging friends and family will help you more than anything you could do for yourself.  And God can only speak clearly to you when you get to know Him.

Grace, you are reading Anne of Green Gables right now, and several times a day you will mention something about her you like and how YOU want to be like that (including some day dyeing your hair red).   But when you encounter a character who is so bold and passionate, how could you not be inspired to be more of yourself?  Grace with an "e"... that's my girl! When you kids see a character in book living out a hidden part of who you are you see it, and it can bring that part of you alive.

Trip, you were  definitely forever changed when we read My Side of the Mountain about a boy who goes out and lives in the woods by himself for a year.  It flipped a switch inside you and ever since you want to make things you collect from outside or the recycling bin.  And I hope one day one of your squirrel traps will work so you can have that pet squirrel you want so badly :)

I know I can't protect you all from the world... but why do we push all these sassy, rude, obnoxious role models on our kids?  They are what they eat and if we surround them with things worth imitating they will find the things in themselves worth imitating and bring them out.  Sometimes kids just need to see that great things can be done... whether in a work of fiction or a real life role model... and then they will believe that they can do it too.  They have to see how to do the right thing and they will do it.

You are what you eat and I hope my failings can be filled up with the great characters in the books you read.

God makes all kinds...

God makes all kinds....this is what I tell you kids when we see someone and you ask me why they are "different".  Sometimes it is someone who looks different than us, sometimes someone dressed very differently or someone with an obvious medical condition.    By parenting you kids I grasp a small understanding of why God makes all kinds...there is beauty in variety.

God makes all kinds because a loving parent delights in  their children's diversity.  In the tender eyes of our Heavenly Father none of us are "better" than another, because He loves us all more than we can understand.  All of you kids are so very different and I enjoy very much seeing who you all are turning out to be.

Some of you are the jokers...others are the laughers.  Some of you are the leaders...other the followers. Some of you learn easily, some of you will have to learn to work hard. Some of  you are the strong...others are the ones who inspire strength.  I have thinkers, and feelers.  Strong willed and easy to please.  You are all so different  but amplify the strengths of the others.   I love you all and delight in how you are all just who you were meant to be.

Why would God allow an innocent child to be born with a birth defect? My sweet Lilarose, you were such a sickly little thing.  Because of your cleft palate you had a hard time eating and sometimes it seemed like you weren't growing at all...but no part of me would say that there was ever something "wrong" with you.  God makes all kinds and He made you with that perfect little hole in your palate so that as you grew into a strong little thing all your sassy, strong, beauty would be magnified by the knowledge that you were one who suffered and overcame.

You kids teach me so much. As I lovingly accept each of you for the one-of-a-kind gift you are to me it helps me to love myself more. I  can see how God made me just the way I was intended to be.  I should celebrate how I am different instead of wishing for the strengths of others.   I wouldn't change a thing about any of you and I know that my loving Father wouldn't change a thing about how He made me.

Being is higher than doing...

Dear children, BEING will always be higher than DOING.   I am less concerned with what you do, but am very concerned with who you  are. This sounds very confusing, but it is truly very simple.

 

Say you travel all around the world.  You see amazing things, see beautiful places, eat all kinds of exotic foods, visit historical sights, you DO a lot.  But did it make you appreciate your home more?  Did it help you see all the world as your brothers and sisters?  Did it show you how small you were  or how big you can be if you make your part of the world better?  Are you more human from what you experienced?

 Education is very much a place where BEING is higher than DOING.  You can read all kinds of books, study math and science, learn proper grammar.  But did you let it change you?  Did you allow yourself to be transformed?  Are you more aware of truth and beauty?  Do you delight in seeing the order in the world all around us?  Did your education make you more human or was it something you did?

Religion is PAINFULLY more about BEING than DOING.  If you follow all the 'rules' but never allow what you do to transform you, you will quickly find yourself an enemy to your religion.  If your religious actions do not lead you to love, then all the things you are doing are worth nothing.  Sometimes all the steps to become more seem trivial and small.  But you must live everyday doing those things will which add up to a slow transformation of yourself.  You take everyday and challenge yourself.  You must stop and learn the lessons that life will give you.  If you just go through the motions of DOING you will never BE more. 

And when you are more all the world will know.  Because you will shine like a bright light.  You will send out warmth and peace.  And you will be a blessing to the world.

Marriage still matters...

To my beautiful girls, despite what the world tells you, marriage still matters.  It is still worth it to make a promise, a vow, that you will love someone for the rest of your life.  And it is still worth it to give your life to someone.

Yes, I know you can 'act' like you are married...do all those things married people do...live with someone, spend all your time with them, make memories, even have kids.  Society will even tell you how smart you are for "finding out if you are compatible" before you commit.  This is a lie.  It will never be as full as if you did all these things with THAT man as YOUR husband. Because marriage still means something.

Life is the same.  You work, you play.  Some times are good, others bad.  But marriage adds another layer.

 

Marriage wraps life with a bow that says" I love you, you are unique to me and I choose you above all others".  It says" I will be with you if you are sick or tired...or sick and tired of the kids! I will follow you where ever you go. I will love your family as my own.  You are safe.  I am here to stay and will do whatever it takes".  Marriage says that we will be together for always...long enough to have children and see them raised..long enough to dream about retirement...long enough to be the last one you see in this world. 

 

And then, when you promise to be with someone forever, they will become someone new.  No one stays the same, we are always growing and changing.  Life happens. And then, you get to fall in love again, with whoever this new person your spouse has turned into.  Because you promised you would... and a promise as big as marriage will take your whole life to fulfill.  Some of the things you loved about your husband when you met will go away...some things on purpose, some because life happened.  But I hope you will have the guts to choose someone.  To take the challenge of loving someone for always.