Perfectionism. With the first couple of kids I wanted everything perfect. Perfect, brand new clothes, perfect, beautiful home. Perfect behavior and picture perfect holidays. Now my priority is to have the things I need and where I can find them. And I understand that we do not make our kids who they are, we are only molding what is already there.
Career. Each baby used to be a new count down to how many years until all the kids would be in school and I could start a career. Now my kids and their education have become the most fulfilling job I could imagine putting my time and strength into. I will change the world, one child at a time. Creating children who know how to love and are who they were created to be is a very worthwhile pursuit. And finding ways to save money is almost as good as making money.
Free time. This is hard to give up because having kids is very inspiring! I want to sew them pretty dresses and cook yummy things and read all the books. But I am learning how to take short 15 or 30 minutes escapes throughout the week which add up to me being able to still have hobbies and interests.
Husband time. I know that it is important to make my husband a priority. When the kids are grown and gone it will be Keith who is left there waiting for me. It is Keith to whom I vowed to God to love all the days of my life. I know that he looks forward to the time when things are easier, when we have more freedom to do as we please, and less chaos. But I also think that the children we have are a big reason that we are still very much in love. Love can so easily grow stale.... but these children force us to mature. I see Keith work harder and harder to provide for our family. He must grow in his ability to sacrifice for others. His knowledge and wisdom when it comes to children continues to grow. And with each pregnancy he becomes my rock. In the same way I am forced to raise the bar with each child. To become more patient, more efficient, more loving, and more willing to sacrifice. We are each becoming better people and more lovable to each other with each child. And we share the laughter and amazement of seeing what new individuals God creates from our openness to life. I think kids are good for marriages.
Comfort Having kids is not exactly comfortable. Much time is spent dealing with bodily excretements or contortioning oneself into weird positions for one reason or the other. There are endless hours spent carrying children and doing things one handed. No matter how organized you are the house will get dirty every day and needs to be cleaned again. I haven't slept through the night in years and I rarely get an uninterrupted shower. But thank you God, that we adjust to the stress we are put under. These things are normal now and don't bother me (most of the time!), and the little comfortable escapes I do get are amplified. And what is more comfortable than snuggling your nose into a head of baby curls?!
Security No, I won't be able to give my kids everything. They are going to have to work through college like I did and will start off their lives living on love just like Keith and I! But are they going to be worse people because of it? No. Are people whose parents pay for their college happier people? I don't think they are happier or unhappier. Our kids will understand, just as I did, that mom and dad chose to give them more siblings rather than buy them things they don't really need. And it will be hard, and they will work for those things they really want. And they will realize one day that the security their parents were able to give them came in their knowledge of family and love and a foundation of faith.
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